D18 visited from college last weekend, and again she stayed with me all weekend. We did all go to D15's game together Friday (along with MIL). Then we all went to the homecoming parade Saturday and had lunch afterwards (I always pay for the group meals as I always have). W and I are getting along as good as (or probably better than) before BD, it's really strange because when we're together I'm sure any bystander would swear we were happily married. It's odd to me that she seems so happy spending time together, but then drives off to her house each night. Anyway, since W didn't get to see a lot of D18 I called W Sunday morning and asked if she wanted to go to lunch with us. She refused saying she had been eating all morning and wasn't hungry. That seemed odd, you'd think she'd at least go and have tea just to visit since D18 would be heading back to college in a few hours. But I didn't ask, just said "no problem" and off we went. When we got back I put a movie on for D18 and S9 while D15 took a nap. D18 said she texted W and asked her to come by. She did, and for the first time in quite a while she just hung out in the living room with us. She even laid down on the couch with S9 and napped for a while. Later, S9 gave her a hug in the kitchen and said "daddy, group hug!" He is such a cutie! So W, S9 and I had a nice hug and W didn't act like I had the plague, LOL! She did call me "babe" again over the weekend, and again I just reacted like I hear it every day, but cataloged it in my head because it's so unusual for her to say that these days.
We've had absolutely no R, M or D talks. I keep thinking of the picnic/ castle analogy, I'm just trying to have a nice picnic and let her join when she wants and duck back into the castle when she wants, but the picnic continues regardless. No pressure.
I haven't mentioned my GAL efforts much here, but they’re in full swing. I continue to lift weights on a regular schedule and have gained about 10 pounds since starting over 4 months ago. D15 and I went to a painting class two weekends ago and had a blast doing that. I think even D15 was surprised at how well she did on her painting, she somehow convinced herself she’s not artistic but she really is. D18 wants to go to one with me when she's out on Christmas break. S9 and I have been going on motorcycle rides together. D18 and I have been going to see movies when she's in town. I've also been keeping in closer touch (lunch, phone, texting) with old friends and have gone clubbing a few times with one of them who is just now getting back together with his WAW from 2 years ago. He's been a great support to me, he understands like almost no one outside of this board does. I've also been spending a lot of time gardening, which is quite a job on my 1 acre heavily-landscaped lot. I've been staying pretty busy! I actually have other hobbies (flying R/C planes, helis and quads and building models) that I just haven’t had time for. I used to play a lot of AA and A volleyball and really want to get back into it. Unfortunately I missed signups at my gym AGAIN, so I’ve got to wait until the next league.
I seriously don’t know how people detach when they have kids. It’s just not happening for us. Let me give you an example of our life- my W has the kids this week. As I’ve mentioned before, our arrangement is she gets them ready in the mornings no matter whose week it is and I pick them up in the afternoons no matter whose week it is. So I had the kids at my house yesterday after work/ school. I took S9 for a motorcycle ride, when I got back W was there to take him to scouts. So D15 and I ate, hung out and watched TV and babysat W’s puppy while they were out. When S9 and W got back to my house, W realized she needed to take D15 to the store, so I helped S9 get his homework done, fed him and watched a movie with him. When W and D15 got back W and I took the dogs out back and discussed arrangements for D15’s upcoming bday. By the time W left with the kids to go back to her house it was almost 10 pm! Every day isn’t like this, but stuff like this happens so frequently that it seems the only difference between now and before S is that W sleeps under a different roof. I just feel like telling her “W, this would all be a lot easier if you’d just move back in!!”
