Riding the Bull

[Arsene]

Ok, before I go to bed, I just thought I'd share what happened tonight when I got back home from work.

For some reasons, I was dreading an encounter with W as I knew she'd probably been here all day (I start early on Wednesdays and W picks up D8 from school) but since she works at 19:30 I figured she might just be gone by the time I get home. She wasn't.

It was our first encounter since Tuesday when she gave me the massage and we were civil to one another, exchanging platitudes in a normal manner. She told me she was expecting her ride (OM??)and I told her I was just coming in to change and I was off again (some meeting I was invited to by someone from work).

I walked her to the door and she then TOLD me she was spending the night here tomorrow as D8 had asked her some questions and she wanted to spend time and talk to her.

Now, every time D8 asks me why mom is doing what she is doing, I tell her that she should ask her mom because I'm not sure I have all the answers on that.

So I asked W what questions D8 had asked and wife smiled mischievously and said:"You know? just some questions!" and evaded my question so I made light of it and said :"she's not having her first period, is she?" Which made W laugh but she didn't relent about the nature of the questions she is coming here to discuss with D8.

In any event, before W left, we agreed that we'd meet in the morning as we need to go back to immigration to pick up some papers.

Later, when I was talking to D8 about W staying over to following night, she said:"yeah, mom asked me if she could stay over tomorrow". D8 didn't say anything about asking any questions to W so I'm in the dark.

I have to admit that it does bother me but I'm not sure why. I guess I'd always wanted W to face her responsibility and tell D8 what she was doing and why but now that she might be about to do it, I guess it just shows me the extent of her resolve, and that is hard to digest.

There is also the smile she gave me when I asked about the questions. It didn't suggest anything serious. In fact, if D8 had asked questions of W about her motive for leaving, I'd expect W to talk to me about it and not to make light of it. Unless of course, she doesn't think much of it, which is always a possibility.

Now, tomorrow morning I have to spend time with W and make sure I don't talk about this. Tough. Then, in the evening, I'm considering just not coming home til very late so I don't have to be here during their "talk". On the other hand, shouldn't I be there when W tells D8 about this? Do I even know if this is what she'll talk about? If not, does W know that her silence on this is torturing me right now? Likely she does.
I'm re-reading my ramblings and hope they are as entertaining to you as they are to me. I'm a fricking nutcase, aren't I?

Don't bother with the 2X4s. I know. This is mind reading at best and a useless waste of time and energy at worst.

I should just wait patiently for it to happen and deal with whatever it is then. The worst thing that can happen is that W tells D8 that she is in love with OM and never wants to come back to me, and this, she already told me, so what's new?

I should look at it as a positive. W and I will be sleeping in the same house (heck, in the same block) for the first time in 5 months!!! Is that progress or what?? Good thing the meds will keep my libido in check .

I have to admit, it'll be nice to have her around. Breakfast on Friday will bring us all down memory lane. I'll go out and buy some bacon . I'm sure W hasn't had any since we were together and she used to love it.

I sound like I'm all over the place but for some reasons, I feel ok right now, and I haven't even taken my first A/D yet!!!

Good night everyone and thanks again for your friendship, prayers, kind words and support. I am over 10,000 km away but you make me feel like we're all together in this. Thanks.