Man hug ----->. (((((( Arsene )))))) I've been trying to get to your thread for awhile now, and want to extend my support to you as well. Times like these will come and go. Cycling is horrible. The ups and downs. Meds can help stabilize some. Use them as a temporary crutch until you are able to stop them (wean off of).
Stay strong because you are strong. Your D loves and needs you! We're here for you.
Okay... Your D likes the Beatles, so there's that... At least we all know now that she's got a good base to live the rest of her life on!
And Arsene... We all feel your pain here. And I don't think there's a one of us who wouldn't take it all away from you in a moment if we could.
But maybe that wouldn't be right... As I'm beginning to realize... It's these moments of pure, raw, and sometimes ultra-painful emotions that separate us from the rest...
The fight that you're fighting is a rare one... So So many people in your (our) situation would have given up long ago... thrown in the towel and decided to just count our losses...
And maybe one day we'll be there... Or maybe we won't...
But no matter WHAT happens... You'll be able to look back at this period of your life and KNOW, with 100% certainty, that you gave it everything you had.
And my favorite part about all this... Is that you D will see that too... She'll see the man that you're becoming. She'll be basing HER future relationships on the example that YOU'RE setting TODAY... She'll be seeking out the strength that you're showing... the resolve that you're giving... and the love that you're willing to give against all odds...
And if NOTHING else comes of the hard work you're doing... Just remember how amazing an example you're setting for your D here.
So stay strong for her.
But don't worry about the occasional total F-ing meltdowns that you may have... as we ALL go through them.
I KNOW that you'll come out the other end as a better man.
Wow, you guys are just too much for words. Rough, Tori, AS, AT, Starsky, Denver, 25, Williams, KG, FIO, Afa,7720, CB, Vero, Unbidden, and everyone else who's been around during the last few days.
I feel like I was about to just let myself fall off that #$%&* bull and you guys came in to cheer me on. Total strangers, people I'll probably never meet in person, yet, some of the dearest friends I have at the moment. I'm still a mess. I can barely see the screen right now, my eyes are so teary. But heck, thanks to you all, I don't feel so alone anymore.
I just talked to my doctor and he's prescribed me some A/Ds that he'll have delivered at home tonight (he was rushing out to an emergency). He said that it's the same kind as Wellbutrin, which he can't get in this country for some reasons.
Thanks again my friends,
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
I am really sorry Arsene. Are you mixing any booze with the meds???? Be careful please. I know things are very tough right now but you have to take care of yourself. You also need to be there for your daughter. Things shall pass. I think you let all of this consume you. Really Rough? B/C I feel like Arsene's made such progress that when he shares a weak feeling or a "mini breakdown" with us, it does not mean he's abandoning his d.
He took a break from her partly to protect her from feeling responsible for HIS happiness, or sadness, (which is something to watch for Arsene, bc she is in her own pain and you are the parent. It's our job to comfort our children, not the other way around. Know what I mean?)
Anyhow Arsene you already sound better. And Rough, he's not a big drinker if you read his past posts. Nor do I think he lets it "consume' him for long these days. He's learned a lot.
So How are YOU doing Rough? Oops, sorry for the hijack Arsene.
It’s on my mind a lot as well but it’s so important that we stop obsessing about it because that will only make matters worse. I am also taking an antidepressant. You mentioned Wellbutrin and that happens to be the one I am on. It seems like it goes with the territory around here. I am glad your going to see the health care provider well fwiw, it was Denver who mentioned Wellbutrin and then I mentioned it to Denver, not Arsene.
(And it's not what Arsene's taking).
Many folks in moderate to severe depression take ADs that are known as SSRIs, which are seratonin related. They usually help with the worry and obessing we can do ("What if I had not driven that route?? Then Joey would still be alive...What if???"), and they can aid with anger and deep grief. Over time, SSRIs can help with sleep, although I always had trouble with sleep, ADs or not.
Wellbutrin is a different type of AD, (related to Dopamine in the brain, not serotonin). BTW It's also a medication used now for smokers who want to quit and stay off cigarettes.
One downside of Wellbutrin is that for SOME, anxiety levels go up. But the upside is that energy levels tend to go up too. So a lot depends on how depression affects you.
For instance, Are you sluggish? If so then You might want Wellbutrin.
OR Are you freaking out and hyper & filled with worry? Wellbutrin might NOT be for you.
(Another thing about Wellbutrin is that it does not have the same negative affects on libido that some SSRIs have, which is a good thing).
I say all this b/c obviously, PEOPLE vary. So do our types and levels of depression (e.g., i've felt melancholy before, but would not take the same thing for that as I took when my dad died, for instance.) Furthermore, Medications are different too. Really, we are lucky to be alive now.
HOWEVER, We all need to take responsibility for communicating openly and effectively w/our physicians. Considering how avoidant many of us are with anything uncomfortable, this is a challenge for many.
Meet the challenge. This is our job to do, exclusively ours.
So no guessing games, no indirect "talking around" them, and no shame around our doctors either, please. It's our life and we have to be in charge of it, but the doctor is not a mind reader. Talk to him/her. Disclose!
ANYHOW...here's a big question for you Arsene, and for others.
Arsene, IF you ever felt the urge to harm yourself or another,
WHO or HOW would you reach out?
For that matter, who or how would ANY of us do so?
Ideas Anyone? Not a trick question. Totally serious.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Interesting questions, 25. You seem to know a lot about these meds and depression.
Here is what has worked for me when I've reached my darkest moments: help others. It could be help others on this board, or do something for a neighbor, church, whatever. Feeling that someone else needs you and you're doing something for them works.
Still praying for you and your family, Arsene (before I go to bed and early when I wake up.)
Arsene do not forget to use the bodies natural drugs for fighting depression.
Exercise, diet, hydration and sleep.
They will be far better in the long run than any drugs.
As mentioned here. Use them for now to help you over this hump but get into a frame of mind that they are temporary and make sure you have an exit strategy in play at all times with them.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
He took a break from her partly to protect her from feeling responsible for HIS happiness, or sadness, (which is something to watch for Arsene, bc she is in her own pain and you are the parent. It's our job to comfort our children, not the other way around. Know what I mean?)
Yes 25. I am well aware of that and it's constantly on my mind, especially these days. Thanks for the reminder though.
Anyhow Arsene you already sound better. And Rough, he's not a big drinker if you read his past posts. Nor do I think he lets it "consume' him for long these days. He's learned a lot.
I'm not so sure about that but thanks for the vote of confidence. Coming from you, it means a lot.
Many folks in moderate to severe depression take ADs that are known as SSRIs, which are seratonin related. They usually help with the worry and obessing we can do ("What if I had not driven that route?? Then Joey would still be alive...What if???"), and they can aid with anger and deep grief. Over time, SSRIs can help with sleep, although I always had trouble with sleep, ADs or not.
(Another thing about Wellbutrin is that it does not have the same negative affects on libido that some SSRIs have, which is a good thing).
I just got my new meds and they are SSRIs. Right now, low libido is NOT a bad thing for me.
ANYHOW...here's a big question for you Arsene, and for others.
Arsene, IF you ever felt the urge to harm yourself or another,
WHO or HOW would you reach out?
For that matter, who or how would ANY of us do so?
Ideas Anyone? Not a trick question. Totally serious.
I have to admit 25 that right now, right here, if this happened seriously, I'd be f&#ked. I have no support system around here. I have met many people over the last few weeks through my GAL but it takes time to build the kind of relationships which is needed in such an instance. The one friend I have left didn't even bother to return my last text telling him I was going through a rough patch and needed to talk (a few hours ago). I have had thoughts that I am not proud of and the thought of D8 is what keeps me in line for now. This is part of the reason I've stepped on my "pride" and asked for meds to help me out. I feel like right now, I've reached a point where I'm not sure I can do this. Cope with this situation by myself. Seeing how W doesn't seem to care whether D8 is around or not, I now wish I'd stayed in my own country, where I had some support system.
Right now, I think if the thought crossed my mind, I'd come here and share with you guys. You've been great. Reading this last sentence actually makes me feel very sad.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Interesting questions, 25. You seem to know a lot about these meds and depression.
Here is what has worked for me when I've reached my darkest moments: help others. It could be help others on this board, or do something for a neighbor, church, whatever. Feeling that someone else needs you and you're doing something for them works.
Still praying for you and your family, Arsene (before I go to bed and early when I wake up.)
Good point Tori. Thanks. God knows there are a lot of people around here who have it worse than me. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks for your prayers Tori. I really appreciate.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Arsene do not forget to use the bodies natural drugs for fighting depression.
Exercise, diet, hydration and sleep.
They will be far better in the long run than any drugs.
As mentioned here. Use them for now to help you over this hump but get into a frame of mind that they are temporary and make sure you have an exit strategy in play at all times with them.
Yes CB. I agree and I will. Thanks for your support mate. It means a lot to me.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
