It is a lot of mind reading. It's likely keeping you from sleeping
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I just don't think that it is a coincidence that H left when our son is around the same age as H was, when his mum left him. I think he was scared of history repeating itself but ultimately that is what he had done.
That hit home for me. I thought many of the same thoughts when my ex left. It was no coincidence that she was avoiding what she saw as similar as a child/teen. I think that's really what she ran away from to be honest. Thought it many times - Me and the kids were paying the price for somebody else's sins. But that's part of it, right? They have to work through it for themselves. I think you're right about him having to work through it. Can be like watching a trainwreck in slow motion sometimes.
Get some sleep and try not to think about things you can't change. In his own time, your H may figure it out. But you will have many scars if you get too close, as he will likely lash out at you over it.
Be well! Be patient with yourself. Be still.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
