best and worse thing to ever go through

[Arsene]

I don't think that I am at that point that I could say no to reconciliation. Although I think that is exactly where I want to get to. Each day brings me closer to that goal. Each day gets easier and easier with less emotional baggage weighing me down. I feel I am starting to become WAS in that I feel like I am not being heard. In the same time that she needs to work through her issues, I need to get to the point of dropping the rope. It does feel good to have a better understanding of what it will take get there. My biggest fear now is in regards to my children. How will they come out of this? Are they going to hate us for this? Will they struggle in school and their relationships? I do know the more I detach from my w, the better I will be able to deal with those questions?

Wondering since those are my main fears to overcome, and they have to do with the kids, should I express those to my w? Is that something that may bring us closer together? Or do I deal with it on my own since she thinks they will be okay? One of her justifications for leaving is believing they will be all right. I do know that she sees my son have some difficulties with this.

Hey Eyes,

I don't know if I'm in the right frame of mind to comment here but I just wanted you to know that the whole "kids will be ok" talk is pretty standard in their own justification of what they are doing. Even faced with tantrums and school grades decreasing W still says that it's normal and that it has nothing to do with what she's doing.

They are selfish right now. It's "their" time and they won't let anything get in the way. Not even their kids.

It's funny, since this has started I've always wanted to ask W if she would give her life for D8. When she'd answer:"Yes! of course!", I would just say: "Why don't you?". A life with us would not be as bad as actually giving her life. No matter what she says now, we were happy, as I'm sure you were as well. Nothing can be as bad as seeing the children you love so much going through what they are going through now. But then again, W is so busy living it up on her own that she doesn't really have much time to see what D8 is up to and how she's coping now, is she?

As to your question, I'm not sure bringing it up with W would help as she's likely to just brush it off as "they will adjust". Will she think more of you? I think my W thought/thinks i was using this to get her to come back. Maybe I was, partly.

lol , I'm not sure I'm helping you much here mate but I hope that, at least, you see that you're not alone with this situation.

Cheers mate!