Hey buddy. She is either going to step up in this time of your need or she is not.
When I was going through the bad times I had a blown knee. ( I know it does not compare at all to what you are going through)
I felt discarded at the side of the road. It took along time to work through those thoughts. I did most of it through conversations with people who experienced the same thing. Online and in person.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!