Interesting questions, 25. You seem to know a lot about these meds and depression.
Here is what has worked for me when I've reached my darkest moments: help others. It could be help others on this board, or do something for a neighbor, church, whatever. Feeling that someone else needs you and you're doing something for them works.
Still praying for you and your family, Arsene (before I go to bed and early when I wake up.)