Riding the Bull

[25yearsmlc]

Hey Arsene,

I am really sorry Arsene. Are you mixing any booze with the meds???? Be careful please. I know things are very tough right now but you have to take care of yourself. You also need to be there for your daughter. Things shall pass. I think you let all of this consume you.

Really Rough? B/C I feel like Arsene's made such progress that when he shares a weak feeling or a "mini breakdown" with us, it does not mean he's abandoning his d.

He took a break from her partly to protect her from feeling responsible for HIS happiness, or sadness, (which is something to watch for Arsene, bc she is in her own pain and you are the parent. It's our job to comfort our children, not the other way around. Know what I mean?)

Anyhow Arsene you already sound better. And Rough, he's not a big drinker if you read his past posts. Nor do I think he lets it "consume' him for long these days. He's learned a lot.

So How are YOU doing Rough? Oops, sorry for the hijack Arsene.

It’s on my mind a lot as well but it’s so important that we stop obsessing about it because that will only make matters worse. I am also taking an antidepressant. You mentioned Wellbutrin and that happens to be the one I am on. It seems like it goes with the territory around here. I am glad your going to see the health care provider

well fwiw, it was Denver who mentioned Wellbutrin and then I mentioned it to Denver, not Arsene.

(And it's not what Arsene's taking).

Many folks in moderate to severe depression take ADs that are known as SSRIs, which are seratonin related. They usually help with the worry and obessing we can do ("What if I had not driven that route?? Then Joey would still be alive...What if???"), and they can aid with anger and deep grief. Over time, SSRIs can help with sleep, although I always had trouble with sleep, ADs or not.

Wellbutrin is a different type of AD, (related to Dopamine in the brain, not serotonin). BTW It's also a medication used now for smokers who want to quit and stay off cigarettes.

One downside of Wellbutrin is that for SOME, anxiety levels go up. But the upside is that energy levels tend to go up too. So a lot depends on how depression affects you.

For instance, Are you sluggish? If so then You might want Wellbutrin.

OR Are you freaking out and hyper & filled with worry? Wellbutrin might NOT be for you.

(Another thing about Wellbutrin is that it does not have the same negative affects on libido that some SSRIs have, which is a good thing).

I say all this b/c obviously, PEOPLE vary. So do our types and levels of depression (e.g., i've felt melancholy before, but would not take the same thing for that as I took when my dad died, for instance.)

Furthermore, Medications are different too. Really, we are lucky to be alive now.

HOWEVER, We all need to take responsibility for communicating openly and effectively w/our physicians. Considering how avoidant many of us are with anything uncomfortable, this is a challenge for many.

Meet the challenge. This is our job to do, exclusively ours.

So no guessing games, no indirect "talking around" them, and no shame around our doctors either, please. It's our life and we have to be in charge of it, but the doctor is not a mind reader. Talk to him/her. Disclose!

ANYHOW...here's a big question for you Arsene, and for others.

Arsene, IF you ever felt the urge to harm yourself or another,

WHO or HOW would you reach out?

For that matter, who or how would ANY of us do so?

Ideas Anyone? Not a trick question. Totally serious.