Hello! 20 year marriage teetering on the brink...

[Soul.Searching]

My H told me that "It has been too long since we were friends and not lovers" I was floored at that point and said nothing. I felt like screaming! "Yeah because I ML to my friends Etc

We fought but not all the time and usually once we said what we had to say, it was over. I actually still think we had a healthy balance when it came to fighting IMHO . I think a lot of the time, it doesn't matter what we do, if the OP has deep enough issues, then they will find any excuse they can.
Heck my H told me at one point it was because I didn't wear dresses and do my nails!!! WTF??
NOT that it matters but I do wear dresses if its hot enough! I'm not one to wear a dress to look good if it's cold! I can't do my finger nails because of work and I do do my toe nails in winter. Seriously! How can a sain person even think about dresses and nails as an actual reason to throw away 13 years and tear a family apart?


I know I have made mistakes, I know I could have handled things differently but ultimately I'm starting to think that this was inevitable no matter what I had done.

From my point of view, we had had one of the best years this past year. Minimal fighting and having fun both as a couple and as a family. One thing H didn't like was me getting angry/ upset about the money being spent at the pub. It wasent a lot of money but money we couldn't afford to waste.
We had nearly paid off several bills that took years to pay. A few weeks before BD I was telling H how in a month or two we would have more money and that I won't mind when he does that because there will still be enough to pay everything and I won't have to stress about what I can and can't pay.
He gave me such a strange look when I said. A few weeks later he wanted to leave.

I think that a lot of the WAS has such deep inner demonds that it doesn't matter what we do or don't do before BD. they will find some reason to blame us for their feelings.