That's it, all neat and simple - we love our spouses and though they have hurt us, here we are fighting for them. I will try not to forget myself though! H is told everyday that he has a good wife and I am!
You sound like a great person, keep up the hard work!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!