Thanks Dawn... You know... maybe I'm at the point that I'm at too soon... maybe I skipped a few steps in the DB process... but where I'm at today... for whatever reason... it feels right.

I can't write this enough: I love my W... and obviously I'm on these boards, writing just about every day (many times multiple times in a day) trying to figure out the right path to be on in order to be where I want to go...

And yes, obviously, I want a future with my W...

But slowly... ever so very slowly... I'm realizing my self-worth.

I'm starting to finally see that... well... you know what... I'm worth it...

I'm far from perfect... I'm overly emotional... I can get clingy... I express my love for my significant other as often as I can through MY love languages (which I realize now isn't necessarily the right way to do it) of words of affirmation and physical touch... I'm always willing to put myself second to my significant other's wants... And I know that's annoying to some people...

But as my IC put it... I'm not off-putting... W is just put off...

I take full responsibility for the contribution that I had in the demise of the relationship I had with W (I won't rehash it here, as I feel I've expressed it more than a few times... but I'll be willing to do it again if anyone wants to hear it) and I'm working my tail off to make sure that I don't fall into that trap again...

But in all honesty... I know that there are plenty of people in this world that are glad to count me as a friend... and there are plenty of people in this world that would do anything for me (as I would for them)...

And I hope... I absolutely hope... that my W can clear the fog from her life in time to realize that I'm worth the struggle...

But if she can't... Well it's not fair to me OR to her to keep holding on to a relationship that is now dead and buried.

Once again... And I don't know exactly why I feel the need to state this as often as I do (maybe I've had a few too many tonight... but I have the day off tomorrow! smile ) But I absolutely love my W, and I know that will never change...

I'm just trying to learn to love myself as much as I love her.

And I'm getting there...

Slowly...

But I'm getting there...