MrBond, I appreciate what you're saying and I agree, if she changes then I change. So here's my thoughts after reading DR again today (still have some to go) and working on my plan which I'm putting on here soon so I have a place to reference it.

I recognize that what we have both been doing hasn't been working. There needs to be change. I decided I want to try and save the R. As DR says, I need to stop waiting for her to change and tip the first domino myself. So I can't keep expecting her to see MY needs and the way I want to do things, I have to start acting differently and consistently as you and AnotherStander have told me repeatedly.

Am I off on DB principles with those thoughts?

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln