best and worse thing to ever go through

[eyesopen]

This is breaking my heart. W came over to go over some d details and to drop the kids off. When she went to leave my s cried like I have never heard him. We coud not settle him. I wasn't sure what to do, so for a bit I let my w try and take care of it. Like someone posted to me the other day, it isn't my job to punish, life will take care of that.

So we finally got him settled and I am trying to get him share his feelings and get the reason that he is so upset. Of course he thinks he is being abandoned. So as my w was getting in the car I asked how she thought we should handle this. Basically she was very short, and cold. She said she wasn't sure. Obviously not the right time on my part to ask.

It is so hard to not bring up r talks in moments like that, but I stood tall and said nothing of the sort.

After talking with my s about him sharing the why's and not just continuing to tell us he wants mommy to stay, I gave her a call. Apparently he has been telling her quite often that he wants us all to live together. She said she didn't think earlier was the right time to talk about it, I agreed, and then shared with her my thoughts on getting him to open up. She seemed pretty shaken so I took the oppurtunity to show her some support. Basically told her that we would get through this and we would be stronger people on the other side. It is so hard to be supportive with something like this. I figure if I don't she won't feel safe talking to me.

I had asked her last week if she would come with me to a C to learn the best way to parent these types of sitches. She declined, saying she thinks we are doing a good job. I understand asking for help would put a major dent in her justification. Anyway I told her I have a appointment with a C for myself next Monday so I would talk to him about the kids.

I feel like this is going to harden our children and I just want them to be kids.
Sorry just kind of rambling. I know I am a good option, and I will become the best option, those kids deserve nothing less.