Thank you RegretfulLA, assertive vs. aggressive. I'll keep that in mind. And yeah I need to get a backbone in all this. That's what I'm doing today.
We are having our "talk" today and I'm seriously letting go. I no longer feel guilty. Before I was carrying his guilt and now I'm just doing nothing. No contact seems very easy to me right now. And I doubt I will go back to how things were.
I want to tell him that I love him and appreciate the changes he has made. I have also made changes to improve myself and in turn improve my relationship with others, especially him. I believe he is a good father to his children and they know that. Which is why I no longer feel the need to have him over in the mornings and evenings.
The kids and I will be ok. He will continue to see them daily after work and on weekends from 12-5p. If he would like more time he can have S4 spend one night on the weekend and not see him during the week.
I cannot continue to have that relationship with him. It is damaging me too much. Knowing that he continues to have a relationship with OW and that he is still uncertain if he wants to come back, are too much for me to handle. I have been patient but it's time I take care of myself.
Wish me luck. I've had a headache all day.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
