I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone today. A lot has transpired in one day!
Thank you AnotherStander. It really helps each time I can get another insight into wth is happening here. And as much as it hurts to feel like he doesn't feel in love with me now, maybe it will come back, I don't know.
I just feel like I need to mention what happened today. This morning my H made a little bit of effort to include me in something he was doing, which was really cool of him because I made a small effort to speak to him and this was a good response I figured. We were sitting together, and in the middle of it I got a call that one of my cousins died. He had some problems and wasn't in the best health, and I felt so sad for him and my family. I was crying and my H hugged and consoled me which was nice, but I kept my guard up a just little bit because I don't want to get my hopes up either. After that, he went back up to his cave. When he came back down, he said one of his friends was just going to be coming over quick, just to sell him some pot. I said "you like pot?" I remembered seeing a roach a few days ago and was surprised, he usually says he hates pot and can't smoke it. But instead he told me "yeah, I love it. I like to smoke it and listen to music."
So I said ok then! And that was that. I can't get involved here. I don't even know what is happening. Anyway, then he asked if I wanted him to order me any food, and I said yes, and he did. He brought his food up with him but I still thought it was a small step (I did write out some goals last night and these are at least progress and little steps). He came back down to get his pot and pour a big cup of wine and disappeared again.
Who - are you?
Where did my husband go? I swear I don't know this person. I don't.
