My wife and I have been married for 10 years, together for 13. We have 3 children, two girls 7 and 6 and a 3 year old boy. We are both in mid-30's.
Since the boy was born our relationship has been difficult. We barely have time for each other, are never intimate and sex has become a chore for her.
Instead of recognising the signs, I was selfish and retreated in to my hobbies. She also took up new interest in running that didnt include me.
In the last two months we have been dealing with a cancer scare for her. (not positive thank god)
This culminated with her telling me two weeks ago that she has not been happy with our marriage for the past 2.5 years. I was heartbroken although not entirely shocked. I hadn’t been happy with our lack of intimacy and deep down knew there was an issue. I just didn’t know how to deal with it. After the revelation, I initially got angry but then realized that this would just push her further away. I then found this site and ordered the book to figure out what I could do to help the situation. The book has been a real eye-opener for me. It has helped me see that I have been emotionally detached from my wife and that our relationship really deserved no better. I started last week with the LRT and she seemed shocked. I think she expected me to lose control and be an angry man for a long while. I am heavily engaged in 180 activities as well which seem to be working. My issue is I don’t really know where we stand. She hasn’t left, we are still in the same bed and we are now talking more than we have done in a really long time. She wants no physical contact whatsoever though. I’m not surprised at this as you can’t fix years of resentment in one week! She is often mentioning ‘if we separate’ which I think is just her way of coping but I’m not sure. Do I forget the LRT at this point and just concentrate on the 180 stuff? I feel like I am in a good position but it’s very difficult coping and trying to make sense of it. I would welcome your opinions and feedback.
