Lois, You are definitely grinding your teeth. Time to be firm and set your d down and have a nice chat w/her about how she views people as being "worthy or unworthy". The invitations have already gone out and most likely those that she has deemed "unworthy" may not attend. Everything will work out..dont' sweat the small stuff.
I'm sure your D18 is anxious about the college visits. She's got several weeks before this occurs. What are her concerns?
The next time your father calls about the fender bender, advise him that you do not have the funds right now and more importantly, you need to find funds to cover the house payment, utilities and groceries and that as soon as you can find the money, you'll take care of the fender bender. Of course, you could point out to him that the three of you will move in w/him and then you can save all of your money and pay him back. I'm sure that would go over like a lead balloon. LOL! Honestly, you can't get blood from a turnip!
You definitely need to have a chat with your daughters about the stress that all of you are under, but more importantly that you are doing the best you can. If you don't let them know this, they are going to keep at it until you snap. I hope the walk helped.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
