Originally Posted By: Norfolkdumpling

He dumped OW1 as OW2 is single and available and from his past. She's also a master manipulator with a history of breaking up relationships.


So if this is her history then she must have been involved in several such relationships. I don't see how this one could last if that's the case.

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My concern is this, he is desperate to move full speed ahead to divorce and total separation.


That's on him, don't do anything to help move it along. And don't ever initiate conversations about it, he'll just view it as pressure. Just act "as if" everything is fine and work on your PMA (positive mental attitude). You just want to show him a confident, happy you.

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I'm doing a good job of GAL and NC but we see each other Mon-Fri at work.


Just be sure to show him that confidence, happiness and PMA. Even if you're not talking to him then show it when you're talking to others or just in the same area. By the way, detachment does not mean to ignore him or act cold and indifferent towards him. It just means giving him space.

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I think he's having an MLC but is it just a WAS? And does it actually make any difference to how you respond?


The DB'ing approach is largely the same, the big difference is MLC usually takes much longer to resolve than WAS. MLC can go on for years.


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Any advice guys, I've read the DB book over and over, read stuff here and all over. Recognising what I did wrong in my M, recognising why I did what I did wrong, recognising what needs weren't being fulfilled by my H and why. Doing what I can to make me the best possible version of me, and just being grateful for my life. Even though I'm hurting I'm happy to be alive and grow through this crazy experience.


Good, well you're taking the right approach. Use the opportunity to improve yourself. Give H space and time. Hopefully he'll return to reconcile, but if he doesn't you'll still emerge stronger, more confident and better prepared for the next R.


Me: 60 w/ S18, D24, D27

M: 21 years; BD: 06-14-12; S: 09-10-12; D final: 03-17-14; XW:57