I'm starting to think there really isn't any hope for us. I need to concentrate on GAL, my children and myself. I can't live with the hope of us getting back together. It's just too painful.
Based on your signature it looks like BD was around 6 weeks ago, so please understand you are just at the very beginning of this whole process. These situations normally takes many months to resolve, sometimes years (mostly when MLC is involved). Patience is critical in DB'ing, and holding onto hope when your spouse seems so cold and distant is difficult but necessary. I know you're still waiting on DR to arrive, but rest assured when you read it you will have more hope because you'll come to realize that most of what you're going through is pretty typical. A lot of M's have reconciled after going through similar events to yours.
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I spoke to my IC today and she told me I'm all about him. She wants me to write him a letter and explain things.
Don't send it though, it's just to help you sort through your thoughts.
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His Mum left him and his sister with their Dad when H was the same age as S is now. His grandmother also left his Dad with his Grandfather when he was still young. I think he might of been scared of history repeating itself but if that's the case, then he ultimately made it repeat, except just the man leaving this time. He did have a crappy childhood starting from the age our S is now. I am wondering if this has anything to do with it.
Doesn't matter. DB'ing is all about leaving the past behind and working on the future. It's solution-based, solve the problems and move forward into a newer, better relationship (hopefully with H).
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I just wish he would wake up and see what he is doing to ALL of us. I know I need to just worry about me and my children right now. I just wish I could help him and be there for him.
He will wake up, but on his own schedule. The best way you can help him right now is to give him time and space.
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I love him so much but ultimately I want him to be happy. If that means me being hurt than so be it. I just so wish my kids being hurt too didn't have to be a conceerquence of his actions.
It is very likely that he will NOT be happy. Right now he's confused and letting his emotions tell him what's "right". But what he doesn't realize is that he can't run away from sadness or run to happiness, because all emotions come from within. Wherever he goes, there he will be. That's why he needs space and time, to figure this out for himself.
