That's a great post by AKHope, and it brings up something that I'd been writing to write for awhile. I think it was about 2 weeks ago, Alk, that you posted something about "I'm sure others felt this same way" (missing your wayward wife terribly) or something. I almost commented at the time, but I didn't, but I wanted to say:
"Actually, not really."
I mean, I had my MOMENTS when I missed "what used to be," but my wife in her current, wayward form? With the intel I was looking at and listening to every day (her carrying on an unrepentant physical affair with a man half her age, while lying to her husband, our adult daughters and even her own parents)??
Trust me, it wasn't the "detachment" half of "loving detachment" that I had the most difficult time with.
I'm a simple, old-fashioned guy. I still believe there's a place for a healthy dose of righteous indignation. The official DB catechism is "no snooping," but I do think that the lack of accurate intel does lead to a problem with detaching, and to this sense of wistful melancholy and nostalgia where the LBS is the one who's the one who's re-writing the marital history to an extent.
