I had a call with my DB coach yesterday. It may have been good that I stood my ground regarding not giving up the bed. My normal behavior would be to give her what she wants out of fear of losing her.
However, my holding the bed against her is easily seen as an act caused by resentment. I'm punishing her for putting us in this position. I think I've been doing the same with my slow/lack of response to some text messages/emails. There's a fine line between detachment and resentment. I need to work on this balance.
This morning I told W that I was thinking about "the bed." I told her she can have it tonight, but I'll need it tomorrow as I need a good night's sleep for the activities at work the next day. I let go of the resentment and found it was easy to make this decision.
My fear in letting go of resentment is that she'll see me as simply a "friend." She's previously stated this is what she wants... us to be good friends and co-parents. This obviously isn't what I want.
M34 W35 S5 S2 T10 M6 on/off over the years including her A Recently- Nov 2015 bomb Nov 2015-Feb 2016 Reconciling Feb bomb March-April Reconciling May - bomb Mid-May I tell her I'm done
