Am I in the right Forum?

[Notlikingthis]

I'm not sure if my husband fits the characteristics of a man in MLC. First he is older than most men who go through a MLC and second he is still at home, wants to be here (most of the time),tells me that he loves me several times a day and is generally engaged in our relationship.

A little background into what is happening. My husband was laid off from his job in March 2012 at the age of 60. He was actually happy about it and was thinking of retiring anyway. Everything seemed fine until about 3 months ago. He seemed to be distracted, restless and had bouts of what I think are depression. That would be normal for someone whose life was his job for 35 years. We talked about taking classes at the C.C., volunteering (which he is now doing) and finding things to keep him busy. To make a long story short he asked me about a month ago if I would be okay with him going on a trip to a nearby state to clear his head. I was a bit shocked but thought that he might just need a little time away to think about his new future. We don't take trips without each other, other than business trips. For the next week he spent hours planning and talking about this trip. Come to find out he was planning a trip to meet a woman that we had met at a friends party several months earlier. She is married and living with her husband (whom we also met at the party). I asked him what the purpose of the trip was and he said he just wanted to get to know her better. After several long discussions about what was going on with him and why, he finally ended them with, "this is something that I have to do". Has he totally lost his mind? He also said that this was "his time" and that he was going to enjoy life. He has been gone for a week now and unless he decides otherwise, he will be coming home on Saturday. I haven't asked him one question about the OW but stayed focused on him and what HE is doing. He tells me that he loves and misses me and wants to be sure everything is okay at home etc.

We have 4 children, none at home and are fortunate to have been able to leave the work world behind to enjoy life. I am angry, upset and confused. He hasn't mentioned divorce and maybe I'm overreacting but something is wrong. This is out of character for him in every way.

I haven't decided yet how to react when he gets home but I've rehearsed a few senarios that probably aren't going to work for him but they'd certainly work for ME! I know that I need to listen to him, validate etc. I don't want to know anything about what happened or even IF anything happened but it's killing me thinking of him spending time with someone else. How do I react if he brings her up? I dread what will come next.

He has been calling and or texting two or three times a day and for the most part seems to be upbeat, tells me that he loves me and misses me. We have always talked openly and honestly about everything and most of the time we end our arguments and disagreements amicably.

Help!!! I need a shot of positive attitude and patience and have no one that I would dare share this with so here I am.