I was reading the definition of it and found it a little complicated.
Can someone give examples of cognitive dissonance?
As I understand cognitive dissonance would refer to two (or more) conflicting sets of thoughts/emotions at the same time. An MLCer may simultaneously tell the LBS they want nothing to do with them/ don't love them/ have an other m/w yet continue to expect marital harmony or relations. It is how they "cake eat" and do not at all see their hypocrisy.
Yes, and I'm responding knowing that you understand this, Kimmerz...
I do want to be clear on a couple things about this if it might help you or others:
+ as you understand, the MLCer (WAS) goes through cog-D... AND the LBS goes through cog-D (as explained by forward; and we have all experienced) This (IMHO) is actually where the LBS (and I speak to the LBS, because it's an obvious pattern the MLCer goes to monster to resolve the dissonance. Choice... not a choice...? IDK. The LBS does... have a choice...
+ while the LBS works (hopefully actively and positively) to resolve the dissonance, it is almost like a double bind for the LBS. As mrsrjd submits, it's how the MLCer "cake eats", yet does not see the hypocrisy. And when the LBS does not follow the MLCer's expectations (how COULD the LBS do so, they can't mind read the thoughts of someone who's emotionally bouncing all over the place; never mind not on a GOOD day), the MLCer goes into spew and the LBS may fall into a pattern of owning the blame / problem, so it continues...
So, like a double bind, and for the sanity of the LBS... the LBS MUST remove themselves from the dissonance. It's the only way to break a double bind... it's the only way to remove the dissonance (allowing one to view the sitch objectively)... removing oneself removes the pattern.
Anyhow, just thoughts and certainly my opinion on the whole dynamic. YMMV.
