Arsene, a few thoughts--again, it's my point of view, and this might not apply to you, but I care about you, and want to put this down: -I'm not a fan of antidepressants. Doctors are quick to prescribe them, but they can have terrible consequences. There is a woman who's started a whole movement to write warning labels on them. This after her H committed suicide when he was put on the meds. I wish I remembered the website. Wayne Dyer talked about it. I thought I would let you know. Can you at least do your own research? During the worst of my sitch, I felt really, really down. I wished somebody would come and give me a magic pill to die. Yes, and it happened many times during the past 2 years. I felt as though life had no meaning. But I picked myself up without meds. Therapy, a coach, a book, friends, your daughter, all those elements can help. -Xanax is a depressant of the nervous system, only to be taken when anxious, not sad. Careful, please. -Don't force yourself "to get there." You will, in time. Never "make" yourself do anything. Be kind and loving to yourself. -Don't do stuff that will make you feel worse in the end (i.e. massage.) I'm so glad I stopped being intimate with my H when he announced he wanted a D (at least the last time, in April.) The previous times, I continued doing it, and it caused a lot of emotional scarring, esp bc right in the middle of it he would say things like, "This might be our last time." I wonder if he got a rush out of my feelings of suffering. I wonder that a lot. When I wonder this, I feel better about where I am in my sitch. Hang in there, friend.
