H also told me that he doesn't like me and that the spark is gone. I kept my PMA and didn't respond to him because it was at the same time as above. Not sure how to respond. It doesn't feel right to say "It's okay that you feel that way."
Please advise.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
I don't think it needs a response. I would just give him a wide berth right now. Hang in there. You sound strong.
Thank you. I'm trying to be as strong as I can.
Sometimes it feels like he wants me to make the final decision and agree to the D so that it's out of his hands and his conscience is clear.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
Last night was a good night. We talked and H was in charge of the conversation. He admitted how he really broke his hand a month ago.
What concerns me is that he and OW are came up with a cover story for how he broke his hand. I told H that one of the things that I admire about him is his loyalty to the people that he cares about. It's a great quality that he stands up for and defends people he cares for. Unfortunatly, his care for OW and her child caused him to behave in a fashion that caused his broken hand. I wish he could see how his loyatly to OW is unhealthy and that she's continuously relying on him to come be her so-called hero. I didnt' say anything about it so as not to cause a fight.
We also talked about my mom and it brought me to tears. She has a few things wrong with her (non-life threatening if treated properly) and she's lost A LOT of weight. So, H and I talked about her and as we spoke, I could see the H that I know and love. He really stepped up and was considerate of my feelings and concern for my mom. He really tried to make me feel better about the situation.
H admitted that he's been taking time to really think about what's been going on. H wants to go to C with me again so that we can figure out how to talk to one another. This time, I won't be as emotional because there isn't anything else that I can be shocked over. He keeps telling me that it's not a PA and I believe him. It feels great to communicate with him...especially calmly without being intentionally hurtful.
Fingers crossed.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
H talked about the possiblity of being bankrupt today. I told him it won't happen and asked why he was saying it. H told me that D is expensive and he's already selling alot of his stuff to make ends meet (medical and other bills). I did well in not commenting against the D comment and just let it pass w/o saying anything.
It's hard but I'm trying to be good.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
H and I went to dinner on Sat. (didn't realize it was Sweetest Day until that morning). Dinner was nice. Good food and good company.
We didn't talk about R or M. It was nice to have my H back in the house and us interacting as if there's nothing wrong.
On Sunday, I overhear H and MIL talking (didn't make out the whole conversation only bits and pieces becasue I was in the other room and not paying attention). She must have said something that he didn't like because all I heard her say was that she had a lot more that she could say but that it would [tick] him off. He actually went out into the garage to decompress from what their conversation.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
Today's our 7 yr anniversary. I did something that I haven't done in a LONG time. I got up and made us breakfast before the start of the day. When he was home consistently, he wouldn't eat breakfast and so it didn't become as common place.
He accepted the breakfast and thanked me for it. What a great way to start the week!
H received text from OW (phone front was facing me). I told him that I had seen the name and didn't read it but to please answer her. He told me what she said (nothing romantic) and why. I told him that I didn't want to pry and asked him if OW has nothing but drama. He told me "no" and that the drama is all that's worth mentioning. I said "ok" because it seems like he's constantly coming to her rescue. He just said "no, not really", I said ok and left it at that. It was a good exchange and nothing hostile.
When I left for work today, we hugged and I thanked him for the good weekend. He said your welcome and that he hoped it wasn't too horrible and that he kept his mouth shut.
I told him that it wasn't horrible and that I appreciated that we had a good visit.
I'm trying not to get my hopes up but it feels like we're making progress.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
H sent texts talking about his car and things that he wants done to it (future plans). I'm enjoying the simple conversation especially since it's not negative and it feels like old times.
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
How come whenever things seem to go well...H has to throw in a snide comment.
We were texting about a motorcycle that we wants to upgrade to. The conversation was going well until he said "Lets hurry up and seperate so that I can get my new bike." and he showed me a pic.
I ignored the comment and he said "I mean come on!!!!" I responded that it was pretty and I didn't appreciate the comment. I then got an "is what it is"...then he went on about being bored, how much he wants the other bike, and that he's trying to make his dream a reality.
Then the comment that actually made me feel better (a little bit). He admitted that the comment wasn't called for and said he was sorry.
I took the high road and thanked him for his apology, told him it meant a lot to me and that I appreciated it.
H is nerve racking but he seems to be more communicative with me and actually apologizes when I call him on something.
Good things....right?
Me39 H35 M8 T14 Early 5/12 H FB post re: his love for me. End 5/12 H done trying, writes "Dear John" letter 6/12 Wants D, calls ATTY, no file 1/13 Loves me, wants to try, moves home 3/13 Changes mind
How come whenever things seem to go well...H has to throw in a snide comment.
Because he's afraid you might get the "wrong" impression. If he feels some closeness building, he'll push back now and then.
Quote:
"Lets hurry up and seperate so that I can get my new bike." and he showed me a pic.
What an idiotic thing to say/ do!
Quote:
I responded that it was pretty and I didn't appreciate the comment.
Good response! You kept your cool and didn't escalate it, but let him know you were hurt.
Quote:
I took the high road and thanked him for his apology, told him it meant a lot to me and that I appreciated it.
Great response! Most people would respond "it's nothing" or "don't worry about it", but your response is much better because you thanked him and and accepted the apology without minimizing the hurt he caused.
