Taking it at face value is the best option and has saved my sanity.
However what's kept me on guard is that I HAVE TAKEN things at face value only to find out he puts a whole new spin on things and shoves it in my face! You know those things that we just can't make up if we tried?
For example, the tax return. He tells me he felt it was fair we split it 50/50 but given I had the girls most of the time I would be awarded the tax return if I asked for it. He said he would leave the decision up to me whether we split it or not. I told him I wanted it because I had ALOT of things to cover as my expenses for the kids are higher given they live with me all the time. There was no argument from him. Face value to me was " ok he thinks it's fair either way, so this is my choice. He meant what he said and he's ok with this. Gee how nice of him".
HA!
2 months later when I asked for child support because it was late and garnishment not in action yet, I got REEMED by him! How dare I ask him for child support when I got a large tax return, while he's barely making it on his wages!!! He had to pay his bills!He was behind and needed to catch up and since I had plenty, then he was entitled to slip out of child support to take care of himself first.
That's called EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL FOLKS.
Didn't work. I truth-darted and intergrity-darted him to death on that one. Did it make a difference? Probably not.
So when he's being nice.....he's usually up to something.
