Labug, here's my first post - it explains what was going on with us and what I did to break my husband - all because of my abandonment button that he unconsciously and unwittingly set off.
You helpfully sent Accuray to my thread in my early days here and he provided great insight to what was happening and how we triggered each other. I saved it to my phone for reference.
Thinking about it, my alarm's battery isn't dead yet - hence all this fretting about what to do - but I am much more aware and in control of it thanks to everyone's help here.
You are all so supportive, I am truly grateful.
Who knows what will happen next. Like I said before I'm more focused on me and aware of what I want/don't want. Thanks to GAL, I am more Self centred and loving my life whether H is in it or not. I am fine.
He even commented tonight "you seem v busy, I don't know when you're free to see me". and I rattled off "well, I'm out tonight, in tomorrow but have spanish homework to do, spanish weds, so thursday if that's any good to you?"
This is different to previously when I was very available and left holes in my w/e just incase. Life's too short for that. I want to stay like this - Tumbling centred not R centred - and just see what happens.
I want things to go slow with H. He will have to show that he's worthy of my time and a space in my life (after all his crap this year) whilst I show I am an amazing and much gentler human being to be around.
I hope you will all stick with me still and not let me get back on the ride.
PS I'm so busy/focused now - I feel like I don't have time for a relationship?!?
