Questions about conversations with the MLC'er!

[LoisB]

I'm new to this and really trust what the veteran LBS-ers have to say. Sooooo, I could be completely and utterly off base. But, this is what I did and I know I felt better after.

I have apologized for some of my inappropriate behavior since he moved out. I'm the kind of person that will obsess about something wrong I did and carry a lot of guilt.

In 12-step programs, one of the steps states... "when we were wrong, we promptly admitted it."

I didn't do it face-to -face and I didn't turn it into the Magna Carta. I did it for ME. I also didn't ask or expect a response. My apology was about allowing me to move on with a clear conscious. And, when I say short, I MEAN short.

"I'm sorry unloaded all my frustrations on you the other day. I was feeling overwhelmed and see now I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

In my case, I felt better after. But, at the same time, I know a lot of people who make amends strictly by changing their behavior because they feel a verbal "I'm sorry" is empty without action. I believe that too.

Hard spot. Don't dwell on it too long and FOR GOD's SAKE don't apologize for anything that's not absolutely positively on ur conscience. I know when I get lost in H's MLC fog it's easy for me to take the blame for everything from his depression to the Bay of Pigs!

My two cents

Heather