best and worse thing to ever go through

[eyesopen]

Sandi,

I am not going anywhere. I also don't believe that if the d happens that it is the end. I accept that she believes she needs it to find her happiness, yet I see how emotional she is about all of this. I do truly want her to be happy, it is the only way we could have a happy, healthy r. She is on a journey, just as I am. Hopefully our paths cross again. I am very optimistic about our future, but not blind to fact that it could be the end. I am still early on in this experience. One thing is certain I have to stop using the damn Catholic guilt that was drilled into me. That is my number one goal.

I have had a sense of inner peace all day, and I have been thinking a lot about the forgiveness aspect of that peace. My inclination is that forgiveness is unspoken unless she actually asks for it. I think it is more of a release of the resentment out into the great unknown. And a sort of awakening for myself. It is the best I have felt in a long time.

You are right in that I will probably feel the anger again. GroceryKartMan has really helped me with that. So I think it will become less and less of a issue. Only time will tell.