month 4

[Arsene]

D8 told me she doesn't like her school tonight. I was happy she chose to open up to me about it. She says the classes are ok but she doesn't really have any friends there anymore. Some of the kids got her friends to stop playing with her for some reasons. I don't know if it has anything to do with me and W being separated. I know that people can be very judgmental around here and I'm sure the word is out among the teachers and the parents.

D8 also told me she would like to go back to either the country where we lived last year or to my own country which we were visiting when I got BD. When I asked about mommy, D8 simply said that she's never around anyway and when she is all she does is play for 2 minutes and then she sleeps, eats and takes a shower. I guess W's boarding house doesn't have good beds and hot water. D8 asked me again why mom was doing that. I couldn't tell her the truth that W is seeing OM. That's for W to do. I simply said that same old story, that mom needs time to figure things out and that we need to be patient with her. I also told her that if she wants more answers, that she could ask her mom. I'm not sure that she will or that W would tell her anything anyway but it's her responsibility to do so IMO.

I told D8 that we'd go to the cinema tomorrow. She seemed happy about that so we'll have a good day just me and her.

I don't know how a woman, a mother, can become this way with her kid. It just doesn't make sense. I wonder if she even knows how D8 feels.

I know and totally understand what you are saying mate. I feel blessed that I stuck to my guns and managed to keep custody so far, as it simply looks like W couldn't care less at times, and I can't believe that.

I guess the thought which crosses my mind often is how we all make sacrifices for our kids and how people often say they would give their life for their kids. What a small sacrifice and gift of her life it would be to get off her newly-found "teenage" lifestyle and come back to a family which although not perfect, was never abusive and negative.

Maybe we're all around the same stage in our sitches and that this is a common feeling which is felt at this stage.

Hand in there mate.