Hi 25yrs. Sry its taken so long to cokme back. I am on my 3rd read of DR now to try and make it sink in.
Re goals the ultimate is reconciliation.
I had broken this down into 3 shorter term goals before xmas: - having a conv with W about something other than her moving out (achieved) - having a family trip out (me W and S). On track! - to do something with W that does not involved the kids (not exactly a date, but just a trip out somewhere to try and have fun). Not even started!
My 180 are earlier on this thread from last time u replied. I have tweaked them in line with ur suggestions and continue to be consistent.
Re anniversary yes I agree. I cld not hope for any different and need to stop mindreading. I am working on it!!
She has not commented directly on any 180s recently. I am going to stick with as I am sure she must have noticed. She is using the time to go out more now that I am doing more in the house.
I am taking S with special needs horse riding, swimming and a trip to the park each week on our own to give W a break.
Difficulties at moment:
- words of afirmation not doing to well. I need to step up but finding this one difficult
- W seems to have dropped everything except visiting friends and looking for a house and is starting to look rly stressed and tired.
- last couple of days W has been awful again and just generally getting on my nerves. Criticising constantly (sly digs, nothing major!).
- caught up with a mutual friend at weekend who asked what was going on and that W had slated me to them. They didn't believe it and asked me about it. I tried to play it calm and just said there are things I am working on but that W is under a lot of pressure and to just be there if she needs to talk. But I do not like the fact that W is broadcasting all of this to our friends!
- funny enough W is now getting major paranoia about me talking to other people about her! To the point she tried to insist who and who I cannot see from our friends and that it is wrong for them to take sides. I have barely spoke to anyone in detail about this except my closest friend.
Re any new changes I have volunteered to be a parent governor at S school and am planning a short break with some old friends.
She also blew 150pounds on clothes for eldest son (which we have no got) without telling me and has been obsessed with him and his friends thru facebook! Up to her I suppose but she is befriending all his friends and he is getting embarrassed by it. Not sure if I need to say anything but I sense eldest son will soon enough.
She also stopped me using her log in details to the online banking. We only have joint accounts and for yrs we have used her log in details as she is the only 1 set up. We never saw the need for us both to have details for the same accounts. But no more apparently as of today! I am starting to think shld I separate the bank accounts to protect myself.
