first time need help - still (new thread?)

[albamarie]

Hey Nero, I understand the need to answer the phone. I think your still so gut wrench by all this your almost looking for a way out. Answering and saying exactly what's on your mind has been a long time coming for you.

Your frustration sounds like it brought you to the point. I was were you just can't stay bottle up. I think your approach was very honest and adult. What's wrong with coming out and saying exactly that - after all this time.

My coach said to be honest in a nice manor and set your boundary. She told me to say almost exactly what you said. Don't beat yourself up over it, he's not, he took it pretty well!

Now, work on if he calls you back!

We reach a point were we are so bottled up that we start to open our mouths expressing ourselves consequences be dambed. That's what I did a few week ago. Be very careful with this new stage your entering.

I laid it all on the line as was prepared for him to do whatever. I don't recommend that though, not at all for you. You said your peace.

Now, first of don't assume where he's been, why he's calling you, that he does't think anything of your pain. Don't think for him, your probably wrong and just hurting yourself.

Remember they don't show you their pain, but that's how all this got started,i t's about his crappy life. Your great pain is loving someone who's not there anymore, a shell of who he was to you.

I don't have words of wisdom just practice and I stink at all of this myself, but your the one in pain, because of his pain. His pain has nothing to do with you. He is reaching out to you for some reason - were not going to assume, but it's right there, he has been in a very little way reaching out to you recently.

Your not a good dog waiting. But, you have to decide do you want to be his "light house" for him to rely on and feel safe. If you have any hope for this R than you need to decide if your ready to do that for him, your represent home for him. Forget OW she's not the answer for any of this, and she's not home, he's showing you that much!

If not then that's ok too. I have "light house" shining bright but I never say that for the R or M, it's for the man to one day find his way.