Last night my W and I ended up ML. My plan was not to ML this soon, but it happened. I initiated the contact and one thing lead to another and it happened.
I felt that I might have crossed the line too soon. The next morning she was cold and somewhat distant, but not too bad for that matter. All day I backed off and not initiated a physical contact but raher continued my 180s.
She's ok, but her feelings are really not back to M yet but I'm noting the progress. I've gotta keep working and focusing on me and the kids.
My biggest 180 yesterday was taking s13 to the movies. But my BIL left his kids over to babysit. The old me would've cancel the movie with S13, but I didn't. Instead I took the other 2 boys and we all went to see a movie, we had a ton of fun.
The sitch felt the same even though we were intimate last night. I will continue to work on myself that even though we ML, doesn't mean II can do this on a regular basis ( the old me). Until she's ready to reconcile.
A little backslide also happened to me last night and just asking her if the OM, had any contact with her lately, and she said no. I backed off. And now really realized that I shouldn't be questioning these things. She stayed quiet after I asked that question...I know it's a backslide and I learned from it.
So far I felt a little setback on my sitch. Not too bad I think, I just got to keep consistent on my 180s.
Newman
me40; W43 M18; T~20 D18; S13 & S3 bomb 5/9/11 EA busted 4/30/12; 9/4/12; 4/29/13; 6/10/13 same OM
Separated 4/1/14
"Even a flicker of light will shine through darkness-12/25/2012"....better days ahead.
