Man, our stories are different but I so understand how you feel about it's so weird after being together since teenagers... frown I do feel it's getting a bit easier too as time goes by, but I still miss my H... it's such a complicated feeling. I really am confused myself. But advices people give here are so helpful! keep journaling, I'm kinda jealous that your W and you have communications along the way. I don't know what my H is doing at all and he's living in another city...