I think I see the picnic!

[mamabird]

If I'm such a horrible person to live with, if I make people always feel guilty to hurt them and control them, if I'm overly judgmental and criticizing and an anger freak, if I'm the man she' described to her friends and family, why on earth would she let her daughter stay with me? It doesn't make sense.

I've thought that too in my sitch. I had a therapist say, H trusts you with lots of things, just not with his heart.

Remember that WAS are usually terribly confused and conflicted, and she's probably said all that stuff because she's HURT that you couldn't be the way she wanted you to be. Remember that ANGER is usually fueled by HURT. But she's not hurt in the way you've been a dad, so there you go. There's no self-protection or risk there, as far as the kids go. Only with her heart.

Vero... good for you for recognizing your patterns. Agree with SS there. Once you realize you are starting to be more aware of your own behavior, own motivations, it's a great feeling. You feel like you're more in control and it's empowering. So even though you got angry with him, you were able to recognize it and apologize. GREAT progress.

A dinner alone in a restaurant is a good step. You're there to discuss your sitch but I'd still make an effort to look nice and would try to keep things light otherwise. I need to catch up on your particulars a bit. I wasn't aware you and H were actively going to MC.