best and worse thing to ever go through

[Grocerykartman]

Eyes,

See, it's good that you recognize that your anger is multi-tiered. You're not just mad at her. You already knew you were mad at yourself, but re-admitted it when prompted. You've also got parents on both sides you're angry at, which probably makes it feel like you've got curveballs being thrown at you in just about every direction. Just about everyone close to you, including yourself, seems like they have let you down. This is undoubtedly tough. I can't even begin to know what it's like to have the feeling that parents have turned their back on your family unity. So I won't try.

What I can try to offer you is this: I don't know everyone's experience with separation and divorce in your family, but certainly, this is their first experience with separation and potential divorce as far as you and your wife specifically are concerned. Every one of you is human, and these are not circumstances that people handle every day. Sometimes, sadly, people handle a delicate situation completely wrong. You yourself said this in your first post:

So for the first month I did everything wrong, beg, plead, cry, try and get her to read things I had found that showed her she wasn't the first woman to go through this. Guess what, it didn't work.

Look how much more you know now. The way you handled it originally is nothing to be angry about, you just didn't know how to handle something as awful as this.

I'm not trying to make excuses for anyone, but I would simply point out that you can see how easy it is to make wrong choices in all of this. It's an unfamiliar, and grossly heavy, topic. I don't know, but I would guess that everyone involved has done a fair amount of handwringing over this, wondering what is the right thing or the best thing to tell both of you.

You did say you can see why each person has done what they have done, so you CAN at least see the option that sits before you to work to let go of the anger.

Hang in there man.