Hi k_g, thanks for your kind support. I struggle a lot in dealing with my D16 in particular.
She is SO difficult - and absolutely refuses to admit that she cares a jot about what is going on in our sitch.
She is angry, oppositional and refuses to contribute in any way around the house. She knows just how to press my buttons and does so at every opportunity.
Good practice for me in exercising patience and compassion, but sometimes I still lose it. I do need to remember to take care of myself as this will help me in taking care of them. Oxygen mask on the adult first!