Staying off the ride 2 - Leaning Back

[Tumbling]

you need to let me know and I can definitely back off with my direct advice and be supportive in a more gentle way!

You're best being direct and straight with me. That's how I am - a big chunk thinker apparently - I don't need detail I want the overview and bottomline!

You do need to book your car in for an MOT if it expires in 10 days.

That's what I thought so I phoned a garage yesterday morning and it's being done Friday. What a big girl! He won't be surprised. It was more a "investigative" text than I can't do it one

I think you're Canadian as well (extrapolating from CG)

No, I'm from the Channel Islands but I wish I was Canadian!
I went to Canada for 3mth/yr for 7 years - different coasts - to sit in rigid hull zodiacs and small dinghies next to 100ft whales and smaller ones. I feel most my Self there and have exciting adventures that just don't seem to happen in the UK.

Last year - when I returned for first time in 11yrs - I said to folks in Victoria "I must have done something pretty awful in a past life to have been born the other side of the world"

I did my marine MSc at 29 to hopefully get paid to sit next to whales and emigrate but during the MSc I met H...

friendly with no '"hooks".

that's my obj with each text from now on and no more detective work.
There have been no morning/night texts since Thurs
Not long but, how interesting?

Wendylon - I don't think he will EVER make an excuse to call or see me. I want him to choose me and make those moves BUT I think he is fine like this BUT I AM NOT.

I'm really sorry to hear that that is what you think. If he is fine with it then I don't see how you're going to force it. That sounds like a painful place to be in. ((((Tumbling))))

Yes, it's a horrible place
But we also must remember that after a long silence we were texting for 8 days and then spoke. The past 16 days he has been away on business w limited coms so all we had was texts.

I just sat for a moment and thought about how H interacts with his friends. He doesn't. They contact him and suggest getting together. In the end, some stop calling and he lets them go. He also takes a long time to let someone "in". Doesn't trust people easily. I'm not going to speculate on where that came from, I just need to keep in mind that he's a reactor rather than a actor. So picking up the ball may take some time. I just don't want to be "let go" but if that's what he wants then that's how it goes. Thinking about it tho, he hasn't let me go in the past two years...when there's NC, he initiates.

I don't want to be a textfriend/wife - he can FO with that (too much G&T!)

Paradoxically, that attitude of yours (not phrased that way to him!) is more likely to get him to step up to the plate. Then again, he may be fine with no contact too. I don't know but at the moment, it feels as if the sitch needs shaking up. Maybe you need to take the risk of losing what you have to see if there is any hope of a future R. Maybe it will take time

It will need shaking up but not right now.
I'm giving him til Nov 1 then I will rethink.
For now it's no initiating, no detecting, no texts w hooks

I feel uncomfortable not sending "night,night" texts as I started that, he does morning ones but what's the point of that altho it says the door's ajar.

So a question.
If he texts "good morning Tumbling nickname"
Shld I reply "good morning. how are you doing?"
as a different response or is that a hook?
see just writing the same thing back hasn't been going anywhere