Well it's one thing to draft an email to H. That is therapeutic. It is another to draft one to your W's former boss, flaming me and OM2. That is just plain malicious, no other way to describe that.
Re the Halloween party - it's hard to say. It's a kids party and often when I do invites I send to one parent only. So - who knows. I'm supposed to be actually hosting a party w her in December. I'm glad I didn't make a stink I guess.
I have my IC appt in 30 min and cannot wait!!
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
Frustrated tonight. I thought H was back to eating dinner with us, but really, he sat down with us Sunday and not since then. So I guess he's not really eating with us. I went out of my way to make a nice dinner tonight which my kids didn't like and my H didn't even bother to investigate. It was pork cutlets so it's not like I was trying to get them to eat something weird. For the record I went to culinary school so it is not like I'm slinging crap for them to eat.
I definitely feel unappreciated right now and it must be a carry over from pre-bomb days because it's really painful. Even though I had this conversation with H a week ago, he feels licensed to not participate in dinner because "he had a rough day" - and I have no leg to stand on. I am in tears over this. Quiet tears.
Well, he did have a rough day. Stuff is going on at our rental property and he was over there all day. The tenant is not happy and we are spending a lot of $ to fix it. It wa stressful. H called me several times today to discuss. I guess now that real life is setting back in after his summer of fun with POW, life is not so grand.
One nugget of very good news in all of this, though. When I asked H to join us for dinner he said he had a headache and blah blah, even though I told him it all goes better when he's there. But as I walked out of the room, he said, "I thought we could all go in one car to soccer tomorrow to save gas." He said it as if he knew it would be significant, and somewhat of a replacement for him not joining us for dinner. I said, "that would be nice" and walked out of the room.
Milestone #2.... Riding in the same car.
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
Hi, I like your attitude with all this Milestone #2! I wish i had been like that. I understand how it felt that you put effort there but H doesn't appreciate.... I tried something similar and my H didn't show much appreciation and...I got sad and lost my cool and pushed him further away....So I'm glad you didn't make the same mistake I did!
Nina, I spent 11 years freaking out on my H when he didn't do something that I wanted to so I figure this is a 180 for me! I did tell him he needed to eat and eventually he wandered downstairs and grabbed one of the leftover cutlets. He told me he couldn't believe the boys didn't like them because they were delicious.
He eventually comes around, usually. I just have to be PATIENT. I went through the goals that I had set back on 9/1. I've reached many of the little milestones, especially in the "family" area. I'm glad I have this board and my list of goals because I can really see how far I've come.
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
Also just to make it clear, I haven't ridden in the same car as my H since the very beginning of June - so almost 5 months. It will be nice to be a passenger for once!
this is big!
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
M: 29, H: 31 D: 9 S: 8 T: 13 Y M: 9 Y ILYBIDKIILWY 12/09/2012 ~~~~ Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles. ~~~ it Emptys today of its strengths
Interim update. 8 pm now. H and I just finished dinner. I made a really good Mexican meal and he's washing dishes.
We did drive together to S8's game (left house at 6:30) and then to S6's game later. After S6's game we attended a book signing together. Lots of our friends were there and it was good because we had a lot of other people to talk to. I felt happy being there, being with him, being with friends, and it was almost like nothing had ever happened. H was in a good mood and it was fun.
Not sure what's going to happen now. He's a little tired, but we'll take it as it comes. Normally when the kids go away to their grandparents we go out and then ML - so maybe we will, maybe we won't. I won't push, but I might suggest.
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
Milestone #2! I wish i had been like that. I understand how it felt that you put effort there but H doesn't appreciate.... I tried something similar and my H didn't show much appreciation and...I got sad and lost my cool and pushed him further away....So I'm glad you didn't make the same mistake I did!