Staying off the ride 2 - Leaning Back

[Wendylon]

Hi Wendylon
I feel abit defensive but, good questions

I'm not sure if that means that, on balance, I can carry on telling you how I see it or whether I should be more sensitive. I'm not being helpful if you feel it isn't helpful so you need to let me know and I can definitely back off with my direct advice and be supportive in a more gentle way!

It's our MOTs expire 30 Oct - I'm not from UK so I get confused about it - he used to do both cars..so things need booking sooner rather than later.

You do need to book your car in for an MOT if it expires in 10 days. It really is pretty straightforward though. Find a garage close to you that does MOTs and book your car in. You can look for a garage online or use the one that your H has been using. The garage can talk you through it and set the whole thing up online (if your H hasn't done that already). If I can sort out my MOT, so can you. By the way, I'm not from the UK either and I think you're Canadian as well (extrapolating from CG).

I think I was also wanting to find out if he was back already cos of the sudden morning texts.

I can understand you being curious about him but I don't think you want him to know that. I bet that he knows that about you and it makes him feel very safe.

Yes - you're right - I probably do send texts with "hooks"
I just text "Glad you're safe" at 20.15hrs - I had thought smiley face myself...next time I'm going with my instincts

"Glad you're safe" sounds good too--friendly with no '"hooks".

Wendylon - I don't think he will EVER make an excuse to call or see me. I want him to choose me and make those moves BUT I think he is fine like this BUT I AM NOT.

I'm really sorry to hear that that is what you think. If he is fine with it then I don't see how you're going to force it. That sounds like a painful place to be in. ((((Tumbling))))

I don't want to be a textfriend/wife - he can FO with that (too much G&T!)

Paradoxically, that attitude of yours (not phrased that way to him!) is more likely to get him to step up to the plate. Then again, he may be fine with no contact too. I don't know but at the moment, it feels as if the sitch needs shaking up. Maybe you need to take the risk of losing what you have to see if there is any hope of a future R. Maybe it will take time. In the meantime, I don't think that contact about MOTs is going to advance things. It's just more of the same.

Would you sorting out your own car's MOT be a big 180 for you? Seriously, you sound like a very intelligent and capable woman and it really isn't a difficult or confusing thing to do. Now that may get his attention!

I am not asking when he is coming over nor mentioning MOT again. He knows about that.

You do need to sort yours out though and let him do his own.

I really hope I don't sound harsh, Tumbling. I do honestly hope that someone would tell me if they could see things about me that I was possibly not seeing myself. I just want to reiterate that I may be wrong about your sitch so take all my advice with a grain of salt. You and others may disagree with me and may see your sitch completely differently. I would be happy to be put in my place.

Have a good rest of you weekend, Tumbling. Hang in there.