Hi, all of you #2

[ericmsant2]

AA

I have been consumed in going over and over trying to change my XW, make her see that I am the best choice,[quote]
1) who controls what you are consumed with?
2) “Make her”…AA…you can NEVER MAKE SOMEONE do something that they do not want to do. Take a drug addict, do you think talking to them until you are blue in the face will make them stop drugs. Take the gospel, do you think beating someone over the head with a bible will strengthen their faith. NOPE. Everyone makes a choice AA. Your partner has made her. YOU can make a different choice. More on this in a sec…

[quote]we have a beautiful thing going on, that our love is still intact. Who am I foolishing with this?

Right now you are only fooling yourself. No one else.

Still, the fight continues, I am not going to lie to myself anymore, She is the love of my life and my desire is to die old by her side.

What is Love to you AA? Can you do me a favor and DESCRIBE it. How do YOU feel love and how do YOU give it? Be as specific as you can be.

How am I going to face my fears? I am praying everyday to have a changed attitude, a changed heart.

One other piece of scripture….”FAITH WITHOUT DEED is USELESS”…

You can pray and I agree that you should pray everyday…but sitting home praying and doing NOTHING may not yield the result that you NEED (note I did not say “WANT”). Let me explain….

Right now, I suspect that YOU FEEL LIKE YOU can CHANGE HER. Ya can’t. Right now, I suspect that YOU CHOOSE to KEEP TRYING TO CHANGE HER. It will be unsuccessful. The reason, is that the only person that you have control over is YOU. This is where ‘CHOICE” comes in. IMO, you have a few options…

1) Sit home depressed, praying and hoping she will change her mind
2) Sit home and dwell on the fact that she is not there, may be with someone else, or doing whatever.
3) GO out and be depressed and torture your MIND wondering what she is doing.
4) FOCUS ON HEALING YOURSELF, FOCUS on FIGURING WHO YOU are, FOCUS on YOUR HAPPINESS (which BTW, does not mean go get a new GF…at least not now).

So AA…which of the above DO YOU CHOOSE.

it is me who needs the fixing and the old Alain needs to die for the new one to be born again.

First it is the TWO of YOU that need FIXING. Secondly, yes the old you must die (at least the bad habits) and the new YOU (defined by YOU and only YOU) must be born. The problem here is that the FIXER in YOU wants to FIX HER…probably because deep down inside, it is too painful to FIX YOU.

AA, you can run but you can never hide from yourself….NOW papa…is the time! Now is the time to grab hold of your faith…and ask God to give you the wisdom and insight into what and HOW you can be fixed. Then papa…the work starts!

but what can we do without faith?

Nothing…

AA, please man focus on you for NOW. Take the love that you have for your partner and put it in a little box for now. Then really start working on you. Now I bet you are gonna ask or FEEL like “why can’t I fix her and I at the same time”…FIRST you can’t fix her but it you realize that you will continue to try…so I am going to give you another perspective….

God is God – right?
He pretty much can do anything..cause he is God – right?

I you agree, then ask yourself why did God create the EARTH FIRST and then create Adam and Eve?

IMO….Maybe because he did not want to tackle too much at one time. Maybe because he wanted to show us a lesson…that everything happens in its due time.

So…..please man…focus on YOU for NOW.

God Bless,
Eric