So today we were supposed to go to the basketball game for our girls. They were then going to go home with him and spend a few hours. Basically, we left it at if he showed up I would know he intended for them to go with him. Otherwise, I wasn't going to mention it anymore to them so they would perhaps be less disappointed.
He showed up and I could tell something was up. He glared at me the entire time. Once the game was over he was standing there and he said I have no idea what is happening after the way you acted yesterday. So I calmly asked well did you want them to go with you? They are planning on it. He said he "guessed so." Well they hadn't brought other clothes so finally it was decided they would come here and change first and he would pick them up. Right after we got here he pulled up. Basically, he came in and glared at me the whole time. I just sort of looked at him like what's up. He then said, "Don't expect me to be nice after you threatened me yesterday." "Huh? What are you talking about?" His reply,"You are not the only one that can threaten." So I said, what exactly are you going to do? There's nothing you really can do. Let me just say- I am a complete and 100% drug free person. I don't do anything at all illegal. I don't scam, steal. Nothing like that. Finally it occurs to me so I asked. What are you going to do? Call children services? He just smirked. So I said, " go right ahead. I have nothing at all to hide. Sure, I don't really want to deal with it but you and I both know nothing will come of it and then you will just seem to be a vindictive jerk. Then he says "you are just like your mother."
Me- calmly- I am not.

At this point I said-I do need to know what sort of schedule you might be interested in as far as keeping them. I am going to interview for a job through the holidays and I need to know what times you are not available to watch them so I can set my availability. So then he says,"Yes, you have my whole bank account and I am tired of it. I am tired of working for JR" Me- calmly- "What would you like to do? You know I have no money if I am not working. I am not going to able to go to the show I bought tickets for next week due to not really having the extra money."
He said do you need money? I have everything we need covered. I just don't have any to spare. He went to get his wallet out. I said, I do NOT want any money from you.
So he starts in on me again. Telling me how I ruined his night and his weekend. Finally I said, "I'm not fighting with you. Are you done?" Of course, he took it as a double meaning and says, "I am absolutely completely done with you." My response was "okay, bye" and I waived.

Finally, he goes and gets in the car, the kids were already out there waiting.I went out and was getting in my car to go to the grocery. He pulls up and rolls down the window screaming "where are you going and when will you be back so I can drop them off?" I said, I'm not sure when I will be back. Just have S14 text or call so I can be sure and be home. Not nasty. Still calm. Still polite, even friendly. Then he mashed the gas and took off.

I realized at this point, I had left my keys in the house and headed back in to get them. In the meantime, I noticed money sitting on top of my fish tank. So he had left some anyway.

I head back out and low and behold here he comes again. Apparently, he went to his dad's house with the kids. His father lives next door to us. As I was turning around D10 came walking back up to the car and asked where I was going? I was non committal. Told her I had a few places to go. Basically, I think he put her up to asking.
So I went to the grocery and did my thing. Never did tell them where I was going. lol. If for no other reason than it sure seemed to get his goat. My guess is his big plans fell through. Not that I care. I also think he is not quite as thrilled with his new life as he says he is. My other thought is that there is an OW and she is pressuring him big time. If that's the case, more power to her. lol

This is going to sound dumb. However, I DID have my feelings hurt last night. At some point I was thinking about it and it occurred to me that he either knew it hurt my feelings and didn't care or he had no clue. I don't know which is worse. How could you be with someone for so long and be that clueless?

It really hit home and struck a deep nerve. I deserve better than that. Truly. My kids deserve better. Despite all of our problems I do not intentionally try to hurt him. If there is something I know would make him feel bad I have tried to shield him. Or I hadn't until my smart ass bye comments today and waiving. Seriously though. Screw that. Screw his nasty attitude and to hell with fighting.
The whole time today I just kept thinking to myself- I will NOT be drawn in, I will NOT be drawn in, I will NOT be drawn in. And I wasn't. I also imagine Tori's voice in my head.
Maybe, just maybe, I am finally getting it.