Hi DM, I’m just checking in here, as it seems we both are in similar situations. My thoughts are in red.
Originally Posted By: DM
So she is looking for a job, which I am ok with. Financially it doesn't matter to me if she works or not. I have told her that I will be support of whatever she decides for work. But any support or excited that I show her concerning work. She gets mad. Says that her getting a job isn't going to make everything perfect. I know that but she has said that this is what she wants to do so I am showing support, that's it. Now I do not ask about her job hunting.
Instead of asking her about her life, (which she hates right now) try telling her about yours. New projects at work? New persons in your life? New hobbies or activities? Anything that’s exciting that’s going on for you. (If there isn’t, there should be) If she acts uninterested drop it and just go about your business. Try again some other time.
Yes I also heard that she has had these thoughts and feelings for years. Sure is news to me.
It’s called rewriting of history. I was told that she “knew” she wasn’t in love with me on our honey moon night! Yet she never said anything about this until now, stuck around for 29 years, and we had plenty of exciting bedroom romps.
I guess the bright side is that W is still here.
Right. I see this as a good sign too. Don’t try to hold on to her, make it so she wants to stay.
She has noticed my changes but believes that I am only doing these things to win her back. I think that is good isn't it?
Yes, you are on the right track, you just need more time to prove it to her. As long as you see even small improvement, don’t get anxious and start dancing around trying different things. For her to believe you need to be consistent.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
