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Joined: Aug 2012
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Third day of NC, this is so hard. Would really like someone to share morning coffee with.


Me 37/W 32
S 5
D 4
ILYBNILWY 5/12
Sep 8/12
Starting to find myself 11/12 on
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Just sent a text to w saying that I had the dates wring for Retrouvaille. She replied I can't do the weekend thing. I just said okay.

I really want to ask her if she is proud of the decisions she is making?


Me 37/W 32
S 5
D 4
ILYBNILWY 5/12
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Starting to find myself 11/12 on
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I usually have my girls on Saturdays, but they are out of town. It is hard. I am having a guy's night out tonight to try to take my mind off of things.


BD: 8/20/2012
W Files: 8/23/2012
S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out)
D Final: 3/5/2013
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More texting,

W: I can't keep doing circles, sorry.

M: I understand, don't be sorry. Just promise me one thing, you are proud of the choices you are making.

No response. I maybe shouldn't have put that last part in there, but I think that there should be a aspect of tough love in this. How is it done without being mistaken for guilt?


Me 37/W 32
S 5
D 4
ILYBNILWY 5/12
Sep 8/12
Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 257
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I wish I knew how to give tough love without guilt myself.


BD: 8/20/2012
W Files: 8/23/2012
S: 8/25/2012 (I moved out)
D Final: 3/5/2013
Joined: Jun 2007
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Well.....you wanted a reaction from her. And you got it.


It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
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Yeah and I know I shouldn't have done that. Her lack of response is what I was expecting. Other than that backslide I feel like my response were very good.

No more expectations.


Me 37/W 32
S 5
D 4
ILYBNILWY 5/12
Sep 8/12
Starting to find myself 11/12 on
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I don't think the response was tough love, it sounds more like trying to teach her a lesson and guilt her. Her choices are her choices.

Let go of that. As 25 says, it's not your job to hand out consequences, life does that.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
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Well put by 25. I will remember that.


Me 37/W 32
S 5
D 4
ILYBNILWY 5/12
Sep 8/12
Starting to find myself 11/12 on
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 448
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I feel the anger creeping in. I feel like I am being too soft in all of this. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around lovingly detaching, trying to speak her LL, and giving her space.


Me 37/W 32
S 5
D 4
ILYBNILWY 5/12
Sep 8/12
Starting to find myself 11/12 on
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