Lost and confused

[Soul.Searching]

Deactivating the fb is a great way of taking care of Lisa! What else can you do for yourself??

I'm not sure right now. I know I'm going to go through the house top to bottom. There's still a ton of his things here. I'm going to give them all back to him. I haven't got a car ATM so I can't go and do some of the things I would like to do. I do have to "find" myself though. Im not sure where I'm headed now.


So he came over to drop the kids off today. I had just got out of the shower and was drying my hair. I heard really loud banging on the door and answered it. He was standing there pissed off. I said "what's wrong with you? He said "Answer your f**king phone"
I said "well I didn't hear it, do you have a problem with that? "He said "year" I said "well stick it where the sun don't shine" he laughed a little bit, then went to help himself to a drink!! I think he was checking the dining room table for flowers. (he seen some after we broke up that were from my SIL he didn't believe me.)
Anyway in a angry tone he said " What have you been doing? " I said. "what do you mean what have I been doing? What have you been doing? He didn't answer and said goodbye to the kids. I asked him if he was still picking me up tomorrow and he asked why, I said well you have got the shits over nothing. He didn't reply.

After he left, I checked the kitchen and the only possible thing that he could have been talking about was the fact I had about 5 tea/ coffee mugs in the sink and about 4/5 cups in there. So what has that got to do with anything? Does he not want me to GAL?
Also now I'm not even sure if he is picking us up tomorrow.


I'm starting to think there really isn't any hope for us. I need to concentrate on GAL, my children and myself. I can't live with the hope of us getting back together. It's just too painful.