first time need help - still (new thread?)

[albamarie]

My H tonight went to N side early for work and is sitting inside ea/ow house. She called his business phone # earlier which forwards to me when he doesn't answer and it was her. She usually talks to me telling me how he's a pain and won't stop trying to have someone to talk to when he's up N.

In reality she's calling him but covers for the call forwarded to me. He insists there friends as does she who has said I can come over and see she's no prize. I DONT CARE!

So back to him being there now...I called her house (first time in a yr I'v ever done anything) and she answered. Through my silence she realized it was me and said to my H "it's for you" as he got on the phone saying hello I stayed quiet and he said there's nobody there and hung up. (he's dense)

I think he answered as a way of not hiding (since he says he has nothing to hide) from anyone who may have tracked him there. Otherwise, I can't imagine what was going through his head. I WANT TO PUNCH HIM IN HIS F***N FACE!

He'll be home from work in the am and I don't know how to make sure he doesn't feel like he's getting away with anything he wants to do. Wow, Im starting to ramble.

I want to create boundaries so when he comes home he see's that his actions have consequences but not "in your face' kind that would make him angry and then win because now he's loader and meaner.

I wish I could just leave...make him see that he has forced me make the choice for him and be gone! Let him rattle around this house, realizing it's not a home very much anymore if I'm not in here.

You said if you had a bazillion dollars would it make a difference, I think yes, because though we would still be disappointed in the men of our choosing we would have the confidence and security to not stick around. Even if we were just getting away temporarily the opportunity would be very inviting.

I don't have a lot of $$$ but I do have a credit card and I tell you it is burning a hole in my wallet calling out lets go!

Sorry this is more of a rant than anything!