Now Separated, Am I doing the right things?

[Arsene]

How are you today Rough?

I was reading along...you have so much to think about and absorb from these posts..so much caring and insightful advice. I am always thinking about you Rough, and I know you are feeling an explosion of emotions. That is why this struck me from Denver (and thank you Denver for posting it because its really spot on in terms of how it feels...sometimes we need others to clarify...you give wonderful advice...i know we don't communicate but i want to thank you because what you write helps a lot of us)

Rough ARE going to be ok. We all believe it.


I know exactly where you are emotionally right now. Your W's email was a let down and, it has you scared. I get it. I really do. I went through this experience, oh, I don't know, half a dozen times. That feeling like maybe things are looking up and maybe I see a light at the end of the tunnel, to having that feeling crushed, and having to face the fact that i was no where close to the end.

I get it. You are hurt, frustrated, and afraid that this is it for your M.

You will get through it though. I promise. And each time that it happens, it will get easier, less painful. Because you will learn that none of it is permanent... that it is not going to kill you... that you ARE going to be okay regardless. We can say these things to you, to ourselves, to everyone else, as much as we want, til we're blue in the face... but until it really settles into your head and heart, it doesn't seem true. But I will say it again... you are going to be good Rough. Regardless.

So for now... allow yourself to experience all of these feelings. There is no way through pain, but through it. There is no way around it and no short cut through it. You can build a wall around your heart to protect yourself from it, but I promise you that that is no way to live.

Allow yourself to go through it. Cry, yell, go beat a punching bag, go lift some weights, lie in bed all day for a weekend, whatever you need to do. Just allow yourself to go through it.

Then you decide what you want to do from here... and we reassess your situation.

Dust your pants off, get up, and keep moving forward.

Yeah Rough. I'm getting loads off this as well. Thanks Denver! It really helps. It seems like the Freshmen are all going through similar things in their sitches. Must be end of term exams.