Wife in MLC? I'm seeking support / guidance

[ForeverYoung]

Thanks for your response and help 25, here are some brief answers to your questions.

Can you give an example of how you see the depression lifting?

Sure. She's been happier. Smiles more, laughs more. More into conversations with me. Increased eye contact when we talk. More helpful around the house. How long it will last nobody knows. I believe there is this thing called touch and go.

Not to quibble, (truly), but when will her not feeling in love with you, be something to worry about?
Do you have any sense of a timeline on that, even if only an internal private one?

You've been around these stories long enough. Tell me how long it typically takes a spouse to fall back in love in this type of MLC situation. We both know it doesn't happen quickly. This is why I see no reason to WORRY about it now. My timeline? I'm hoping I can last at least a year from BD no matter what happens, (next March) and re-evaluate from there.

I've never held her back from doing what she wants, and won't start now.

How's that worked so far?

Very good. If she felt controlled she would have bolted by now. Instead, she's seems more and more comfortable in our home. Like I posted earlier, her leaving or filing for D at this time seems highly unlikely. I told her in the beginning of this crises that I'm not the enemy, and I'm not stopping her from doing whatever she wants, including leaving.

So, do you think you've set any boundaries in the past? IF NOT, then what?

IF SO, then what?

Call if you will be late.

When the subject came up I also told her an open marriage would not work.

I mean, what is it that marriage keeps her from doing, if you've never held her back from anything?

What about the single life do you think she misses or wants?

Live on her own, do everything for herself with no one's help, discover "who she is". Party more. GAL. Date.

All I am asking you, whether her depression is the only factor in her wanting out of the marriage.

IF it's Not the only reason for the bomb, then what are you going to do to help the marriage itself?

No, the MLC is not the only reason for the bomb, and this has already been acknowledged by me in this thread.

Of course there have been failings on my part, and correcting those faults and being more attentive to her needs is what I've been working on. Being the best husband I can be, adding some new things to my life, and being consistent about it all.