I can relate to so much of what you are feeling, especially feeling a bond with your new Alanon and church friends. I went to a meeting tonight myself, it was good since I haven't been going lately. I realized during the meeting that my schedule is different now and I can't go to as many meetings as I would like so I need to do other program things like call Alanon people. I need to ask for help. I need to check in.
Last Sept when I started therapy my shrink wanted me to go on medication. I was very hesitate because I was still breast feeding.
I was in such pain over my relationship with my H I didn't want to stop that connection with my baby (15mths). After a couple weeks with the therapist I decided to stop breast feeding and go on A/D. For me I thought my daughter would be healthier from having a mentally healthy mommy then having breast milk another few months.
It was a really hard decision. Really hard. Seriously really really hard. I had to send my daughter to my moms house for 4 days because she was not interested in stopping.
Yes I wish I could have nursed longer but I also know that the medication has helped tremendously and I want my kids to have a happy & healthy mommy.
If I can't give them a intact family I can at least give 'em a sane mommy.
Hang in there, you are doing great!!
---- M 39 H 35 D5,D4 M 4 T 9 ILYBNILWY 5/18/11 Left 7/11/11 Divorced 12/1/13
