Here's the answer to all of the questions you had above.
"It doesn't matter why".
The point is that in his mind he may not even know what he's doing. And I can guarantee you that if you demand an answer from him, he's going to change from one reason to another and then ultimately say that YOU are the reason why he's doing all of this.
He doesn't want to take any responsibility for his choices so he blames others. He won't talk or get involved with his own kids because he's ashamed. period. It's not that he thinks life with the OW is better, he just feels that if he doesn't have to face you and the kids, then he doesn't have to feel like a failure to himself. It's called conflict avoidance.
The ONLY thing you need to do is make yourself strong physically, mentally and spiritually. Right now your kids need you to take the place of both parents. YOU need to be the strong one to carry on and not let your H walk all over you. His "rescuing" the OW won't last especially when her H starts getting involved. Start really cutting him off like he asked so he doesn't see you as a "fall back" plan.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
